Major hair journey update!
Buckle up! This may be a long one. 😛
When it comes to transitioning, everyone has a point where they say “enough”. That’s when they decide to either go back to relaxing their hair or, as in my case, they do the “big chop”. My original plan never changed; I was going to transition for as long as I could handle it and then cut off the processed hair so that I’d have at least a bit of curly ‘fro to work with. I was hoping to make it to a year but, apparently, 8 months was my max.
Me and the ‘rents went on another cruise in May and it was right before this, when I wanted to make my freshly washed hair look nice and pretty, that I realized I friggin’ hated it. The drastic difference in texture from my relaxed hair to my natural 3c-textured hair meant that I spent more of my time fighting dreadlocks than anything else. Wearing it loose had since become a thing of the past with my roots a thick forest while the rest was a mess of rat tails. Just…no. I was done. Yet I sat on it! I went on vacation and told myself that, if I continued to feel I’d reached my limit, I’d big chop sooner than expected. I mean, clearly my frustration signaled that I was ready to go balls deep, as it were, and I’d come too far (8 months of experimentation) to throw it away on the “creamy crack”.
We came back from the cruise, I deep conditioned my hair for 30 mins (my usual), washed it, then realized I couldn’t get a comb into my hair if you paid me in diamonds. No amount of divide and conquer was going to win this day quickly. In the end, it took me a grand total of 5 miserable hours to do my hair, from DC to drying with a diffuser attachment. Oh, yes, I was officially done. Why bother keeping my hair at the length it was when it represented nothing other than aggravation to me? My main issue was that I didn’t know who to go to for my big chop. It didn’t feel right going to my old hairdresser, regardless of knowing each other for ages; She always did right by my hair but I clearly needed someone with more experience in this specific area. Enter my mom who came across a woman, Nikki, working in a barbershop near us who knew exactly how to handle the kind of drastic hair change I had in mind. Excited, I popped in the first chance I got (June 8th, 2013), sans appointment, so I could get this part of my life over with already! And I’m still somewhat torn over how I feel about it. I mean, I’ve never had hair this short except for when I was an infant. But it was one of those imperative urges that had to be respected; I was freeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Fresh Big Chop, dun dun dunnnnn!
A lot of women cry when they finally do the big chop. Or, at least, that’s what the internet tells me. As strange as it was to be shorn of 95% of my hair, I was strangely okay with it outside of feeling awkward as hell. No doubt this is thanks to the mental preparation I’d given myself way in advance. As a smart woman, I wasn’t about to look that gift horse in the mouth. What I could’ve done without? All the attention that accompanied my new look. Sure, I understood as it was a drastic (read: shocking) change for my friends/family/coworkers to see but it still made me highly uncomfortable as I’m not a fan of attention. That and how insecure I felt now that my, in my opinion, “moon face” was on full display. Eek! 2 months later and that hasn’t completely gone away yet! But what’s done is done so I try not to fret about the “naked” sensation overmuch. I have to appreciate how much less time it takes to wash/condition my hair too! Which leads me to the subject of products, one of the most important elements of any hair journey.
Now that I’ve got a full, albeit short, head of natural 3c hair, I’ve definitely had to change things up a bit. Research on the ‘net is key, even while keeping in mind that what works for one head may not work for yours. I believe I’ve settled on a nice combo that suits for now; I say “for now” as what my hair requires will inevitably change as it grows. Products that felt too heavy whilst I was transitioning, such as Shea Moisture’s “Coconut & Hibiscus Curling Souffle”, have now become some of my favorite hair staples! Former loves like Kinky Curly’s “Curling Custard” are still used but don’t quite maintain the level of moisture I now need. My hair will literally suck up whatever is put on it and then do whatever the hell it wants because, truth be told, there’s only so much styling one can do to curly hair this short. Not gonna lie, this suits my busy lifestyle just fine; me and my hair are growing together. All that being said, current products and usage are as follows:
Hair care buddies!
1) Cleanse with As I Am’s “Coconut CoWash”. I love, love, love this stuff. Smell delicious and gently “washes” my hair while adding moisture rather than stripping it. Also, the price is incredibly decent i.e. less than $8 for 16 oz, a steal for a great curly product.
2) Condition with TreSemme Natural’s Silicone-free Conditioner. Both the smoothing one and the moisturizing one work equally well for me and are usually on sale for $3.49 or 2 for $6 at many a drugstore. MInd you, with the Coconut CoWash, I don’t actually have to use an additional conditioner. I just choose to because my hair loves added moisture, it does my curls justice, and makes detangling that much easier.
3) Shea Moisture’s “Coconut & Hibiscus Curl & Style Milk” is 100% my new favorite hair product. It’s my leave-in conditioner that’s replacing Kinky Curly’s “Knot Today”. Again, it’s not that I no longer like KT, it’s more that the curl milk is providing that extra hydration my hair needs. Should I feel that my hair is particularly tangled, I have no problem going right back to KT. Anyhoo, yes. This stuff smells like a Pina Colada! It super soothes my thirsty curls and helps so much in the frizz department! I had one of those major “ahhhhh” moments when I used it for the first time. It is slightly pricier than I’d like ($10.99/8 oz) but a little does go a long way and my hair is one of those things that I’ve always been willing to spend extra cash on if it means it’ll be healthier. My bottle looks almost brand new after about 4 uses. *shrug*
4) As mentioned above, I volley between the Shea Moisture “Coconut & Hibiscus Curling Souffle” and Kinky Curly’s “Curling Custard” to “set/hold” my curls. Do I like both gels? Yes. Do I feel that one works better for me than the other? Another yes. Will I continue to volley? Yes, yet again. If I ran out of my curling souffle and only had my curling custard, I wouldn’t freak out since I feel they both do well for me in different ways. The Kinky Curly is certainly lighter so, if I were expecting to sweat or something, I’d probably go with that as I don’t relish sticky gel trailing down my face or neck. If I think my hair is being drier/frizzier than usual, I’d go with the Shea Moisture as it’s thicker and heavier with product still feeling evident two days later. KC runs more expensive, by a few dollars, than SM and that’s always something to consider, though they both run in the $12 range (KC is 8 oz, SM is 12 oz).
5) I don’t really use a curl refresher as, by the time I’d need one, my curls are so dry that only a full wash/condition session will do. When I think one is required, I use another SM product. The “Coconut & Hibiscus Hold and Shine Moisture Mist”. It’s good, I like it, but it’s another $12 product that happens to go pretty fast. And I find that if I just spray water on my hair, I get a similar effect from reactivating the products I’ve already used a day or so before. Ergo, I’ll call this one a “luxury” item; lovely to have but life goes on fine without it.
Honorable mentions have to go to KC’s “Perfectly Polished” hair oil for giving softness/nourishment as a pick me up, Carol’s Daughter’s “Olive Oil Infusion” as a deep conditioner when needed, and regular ol’ shea butter/pure coconut oil for extra moisture and protection.
Overall, my hair is coming along nicely! I have absolutely no regrets about big chopping. I do wish it’d grow faster because I really miss having long hair but it is what it is; I’m going to try my best to enjoy this mop on my head in every stage it goes through. Now, for some reason, I haven’t bothered with “length checks”. I just can’t be arsed, I guess! Not to mention that the length, in units of measure, doesn’t matter if I can’t tell, you know? Curly shrinkage is EPIC. So, regardless of true length, I’ll be running around with a solid cap of curls that will only gain height (they grow out as opposed to down) in an incredibly slow manner. Womp womp!
Flower stylin’
Aaaaaaaaand there you have it. One massive hair update. 😀 Next hair-related post will probably be about the challenge of dry Winter air and ski caps. *shudder*
“Free as my hair” or “Adventures in Transitioning: the first”
I can’t remember whether it was a friend or one of my cousins but, upon learning that I was planning on transitioning from relaxed hair to natural hair, they suggested I blog about it. My argument against doing so went along the lines of “but everyone is doing it, does the world really need another blog about it”. Also, would I really have the time or inclination to bother? But its occurred to me of late that they had the right of it. I SHOULD be blogging about this because its a huge deal in my life! A woman’s hair, and what she chooses to do with it, is her crowning glory! Its also worth noting that no one’s two transitions are the same and any tips/tricks/revelation are always worth SOMETHING to SOMEONE. Maybe even to my future self. So, as I’ve officially reached my 4th month post last relaxer (this Sunday), I figured now would be a good time to start. Not to mention that my brain won’t stop nagging about it!
First, some back story!
What the hell is my natural hair texture? Well, sadly, I wouldn’t know the answer to that. I’ve had my hair relaxed the the literal day that I turned 6 yrs old because my mom just couldn’t deal with it anymore. *For the record, I’m Puerto Rican. It was too long and too curly so away it went! She took me to the salon to get “pretty” for my birthday and I ended up with straight hair that was suddenly missing 6 inches! If you’re thinking that I’m still bitter about this, you’d be right! Now I’m 31 yrs old and have no recollection of what my natural hair texture consists of. And you can’t trust that stuff that grows out of your scalp in between touch ups, okay?! In my quest for knowledge re: healthier options for my hair, I’ve discovered that the reason I was always so afraid of letting my hair grow out is because “scab hair”! All along, I thought my hair was this dry and crunchy mess when…that was likely furthest from the truth. Scab hair is the hair that lives just under your scalp and is already slightly damaged from the relaxing process WITHOUT yet being relaxed; Its the greatest illusion of all.
After over 20 yrs of chemically playing the Marquis de Sade with my hair, I was over it. Call it advanced age, boredom, curiosity, whatever. I was just done. Tired of being afraid to miss salon trips, tired of the process, tired of the fear of water, tired of the expense, etc. As much as I wanted to retain length all my life, I was also suddenly not as attached to it as I was. Maybe the mental scarring of my 6th birthday was finally fading? Or maybe the horrible humidity of living in NYC in the summer was the final nail in the coffin. *shrug* Granted, I’m not doing the “big chop” anytime soon but a definite series of mini-chops is coming my way. Little by little, I WILL rid my head of both the relaxed and Brazilian straightened treated hair and let my natural curls fly free!
My first order of business was to learn how to take care of curly hair which is the complete opposite of dealing with straight hair! Once you learn, you purge. Learn what to try, what to avoid, and the tweaks you can get away with because your hair is unique to YOU. What works for someone else’s mop top may not be the business for yours. To begin with, I’m off silicones. It sounds like something a drug addict would say but that’s the best way to put it. While -cones that coat the hair shaft are awesome for straight hair that’s trying to avoid fridge, its a right bitch for curly hair that is now blocked from absorbing any more moisture for the interim. Same with sulfates in my shampoo! That’s a no-no. And I can go that route BECAUSE I’m living -cone free; the only thing that can get -cones off hair is sulfate shampoos because they strip everything. Curly hair and moisture stripping are not friends! Getting my hair washed, set, and blown dry? That was gone too. And, let me say that I noticed a difference even in my relaxed hair once I made these changes. I’m pretty sure its because it wasn’t so stressed any more! I was letting it be. And I’ve found what my hair loves: OILS. Natural oils (apricot, argan, jojoba, coconut, olive, etc) that moisturize without suffocating my hair and can be washed out WITHOUT the use of sulfate shampoos. Deep conditioners and protein treatments? Yeah, my hair is about that life too!
Research told me that I’d probably have a longer period of scab hair than most, about 6 mos., because my scalp had been damaged from so many years of relaxers. So I was prepared for this and still committed to transitioning because, as I said, I was beyond over relaxing my hair. Thankfully, this is turning out to not be the case. I think its because my relaxers were mild ones as my hair isn’t as coarse a curl pattern as I always believed! The vast majority of my new growth is really awesome clumps of 3c hair and I LOVE it.
Don’t get me wrong, taking care of my hair is still somewhat of a pricey and time-consuming process because I have a lot of it and its thick, relaxed or natural. I started transitioning with hair that reached to my elbows. And once the 2 different textures became more prominent, detangling my hair on wash days inspired true dread in me. But with patience, the right tools (conditioner, a tangle teezer, and a wide tooth comb), and the view that I’m doing this FOR myself and not TO myself, Its gotten a lot easier and I mostly enjoy it. I feel like my hair is starting to fit my personality now.
I read somewhere that transitioning inspires a lot of self-awakening, soul-searching, and an almost spiritual peace within many people. I didn’t believe that because its just hair, right? But my opinion of this has definitely changed. Its almost like chains are dropping from your soul or something, pardon my melodrama. I’m seeing the world in a whole new light which is just what this 30-something was looking for.
Here’s a pic of what was going on when I hit 3 mos. post-relaxer!
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