“Free as my hair” or “Adventures in Transitioning: the first”
I can’t remember whether it was a friend or one of my cousins but, upon learning that I was planning on transitioning from relaxed hair to natural hair, they suggested I blog about it. My argument against doing so went along the lines of “but everyone is doing it, does the world really need another blog about it”. Also, would I really have the time or inclination to bother? But its occurred to me of late that they had the right of it. I SHOULD be blogging about this because its a huge deal in my life! A woman’s hair, and what she chooses to do with it, is her crowning glory! Its also worth noting that no one’s two transitions are the same and any tips/tricks/revelation are always worth SOMETHING to SOMEONE. Maybe even to my future self. So, as I’ve officially reached my 4th month post last relaxer (this Sunday), I figured now would be a good time to start. Not to mention that my brain won’t stop nagging about it!
First, some back story!
What the hell is my natural hair texture? Well, sadly, I wouldn’t know the answer to that. I’ve had my hair relaxed the the literal day that I turned 6 yrs old because my mom just couldn’t deal with it anymore. *For the record, I’m Puerto Rican. It was too long and too curly so away it went! She took me to the salon to get “pretty” for my birthday and I ended up with straight hair that was suddenly missing 6 inches! If you’re thinking that I’m still bitter about this, you’d be right! Now I’m 31 yrs old and have no recollection of what my natural hair texture consists of. And you can’t trust that stuff that grows out of your scalp in between touch ups, okay?! In my quest for knowledge re: healthier options for my hair, I’ve discovered that the reason I was always so afraid of letting my hair grow out is because “scab hair”! All along, I thought my hair was this dry and crunchy mess when…that was likely furthest from the truth. Scab hair is the hair that lives just under your scalp and is already slightly damaged from the relaxing process WITHOUT yet being relaxed; Its the greatest illusion of all.
After over 20 yrs of chemically playing the Marquis de Sade with my hair, I was over it. Call it advanced age, boredom, curiosity, whatever. I was just done. Tired of being afraid to miss salon trips, tired of the process, tired of the fear of water, tired of the expense, etc. As much as I wanted to retain length all my life, I was also suddenly not as attached to it as I was. Maybe the mental scarring of my 6th birthday was finally fading? Or maybe the horrible humidity of living in NYC in the summer was the final nail in the coffin. *shrug* Granted, I’m not doing the “big chop” anytime soon but a definite series of mini-chops is coming my way. Little by little, I WILL rid my head of both the relaxed and Brazilian straightened treated hair and let my natural curls fly free!
My first order of business was to learn how to take care of curly hair which is the complete opposite of dealing with straight hair! Once you learn, you purge. Learn what to try, what to avoid, and the tweaks you can get away with because your hair is unique to YOU. What works for someone else’s mop top may not be the business for yours. To begin with, I’m off silicones. It sounds like something a drug addict would say but that’s the best way to put it. While -cones that coat the hair shaft are awesome for straight hair that’s trying to avoid fridge, its a right bitch for curly hair that is now blocked from absorbing any more moisture for the interim. Same with sulfates in my shampoo! That’s a no-no. And I can go that route BECAUSE I’m living -cone free; the only thing that can get -cones off hair is sulfate shampoos because they strip everything. Curly hair and moisture stripping are not friends! Getting my hair washed, set, and blown dry? That was gone too. And, let me say that I noticed a difference even in my relaxed hair once I made these changes. I’m pretty sure its because it wasn’t so stressed any more! I was letting it be. And I’ve found what my hair loves: OILS. Natural oils (apricot, argan, jojoba, coconut, olive, etc) that moisturize without suffocating my hair and can be washed out WITHOUT the use of sulfate shampoos. Deep conditioners and protein treatments? Yeah, my hair is about that life too!
Research told me that I’d probably have a longer period of scab hair than most, about 6 mos., because my scalp had been damaged from so many years of relaxers. So I was prepared for this and still committed to transitioning because, as I said, I was beyond over relaxing my hair. Thankfully, this is turning out to not be the case. I think its because my relaxers were mild ones as my hair isn’t as coarse a curl pattern as I always believed! The vast majority of my new growth is really awesome clumps of 3c hair and I LOVE it.
Don’t get me wrong, taking care of my hair is still somewhat of a pricey and time-consuming process because I have a lot of it and its thick, relaxed or natural. I started transitioning with hair that reached to my elbows. And once the 2 different textures became more prominent, detangling my hair on wash days inspired true dread in me. But with patience, the right tools (conditioner, a tangle teezer, and a wide tooth comb), and the view that I’m doing this FOR myself and not TO myself, Its gotten a lot easier and I mostly enjoy it. I feel like my hair is starting to fit my personality now.
I read somewhere that transitioning inspires a lot of self-awakening, soul-searching, and an almost spiritual peace within many people. I didn’t believe that because its just hair, right? But my opinion of this has definitely changed. Its almost like chains are dropping from your soul or something, pardon my melodrama. I’m seeing the world in a whole new light which is just what this 30-something was looking for.
Here’s a pic of what was going on when I hit 3 mos. post-relaxer!
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